Monday 26 August 2019

Sometimes in late August

I still think of Rohit sometimes. He is different so only I like him but is it love? Nope. Might be it is just crush and special because he was first crush. Or might be it is just an admiration. I don't love anyone but yeah I can't live without one thing that is my sister. She is my breath I feel that I am not alone in this world if I talk to her. Might be we are the soulmates because she knows things without even saying something. I know asking her to move here is selfish on my part. I know my parents need her in India.

I don't want to marry early. I do have trust issues. I liked his parents; the guy whom my parents choose but I don't agree his parents word that the guy is shy and I should be the one to ping him first. Seriously? If his parents can talk to me then what's the problem of their son I don't understand. I think that if the guy is interested he should ping not me else I don't want to fall in any relation which is forceful and off course not to waste my time. With all this marriage market stuff I am definitely suggesting my sister to not go for arrange marriage because its waste and find someone who is worth enough. For me I haven't met the right match and I don't believe in fixing arrange marriage. The whole scenario looks like job interview with all sorts of classification filters put on. I mean thinking back to like someone you don't actually apply filters you just like someone.  I liked Rohit from my school days though everyone used to hate him. I don't know why I always have crush on the guys, usually most of the people around hate. What I love is that they are themselves, truthful and not trying to please anyone. People follow them not the other way round. Might be because somewhere deep down I am like that. 

I can't believe so much happened in this month. I had minor accident so got hold on my zipcar account. Then finally I got my EAD card but still I am postponing to give my learners test. Tomorrow anyhow I need to give me learners at least so that in September I can take lessons and till October I am ready to drive on road. I have cancelled all my vacations in later September and October. My last vacation would be September long weekend. Not sure if I would got to New Oreleans or not it depends on my mood though. Other than that my whale watching tour cancelled when I almost reached Portland due to fog on the same day my imagination got shattered and had to look for different motivation on the same day shower drainage was not working and water was leaking. So we have to literally throw water from tub every ten minutes. Then had some issue with my iphone which was one another headache. Ohh god so much happened in this month. Now I don't want any new issue for sometime I want to live the life of low profile with no problems but with September coming up I know God wont like me being problem less. But even I don't like boring life something interesting, something thrilling though I am scared initially but at that time it feels worth the chance. Currently I am excited of my upcoming vacation might be if I can fit some time I should give a shot to create the Ganapati Murthi.

My friends are sending messages of another level. I can't believe that they are thinking that I am depressed or they are depressed or trying to make me depressed to divert from my purpose.

Some of the messages:
"Being married after 30 is still beautiful"
"Starting a family after 35 is still possible" 
"Buying a house after 40 is still boss move"
"Don't let people rush you with their timeliness"
"Being with no one is better than being with the wrong one. Sometimes, those who fly solo have the strongest wings "

My new motivation is work with Robert Love. I am reading his books now days. Hope to get to work along with him next year.

Everything is in your head. I have achieved all through my imagination my belief sometimes I started living in reality which lead me to depression. But I think my way was right, because the things people told they were my imagination, were actually my dreams. Never stop dreaming. They make you alive they are your goal setter. If you have some dream, purpose everything will start falling into places.