On the day!

Yesterday it had been a bad day..It didn't hit me yet..but I knew that feeling will come along when I would reach home. She longed to see me. But it's my bad fate that I didn't get to see her. But I can't be selfish to prolong her pain. The reason of death I strongly feel to be blood poison due to bed sores. I think it had been stage 4 - bed sores. She needed proper medical care. But ya it wouldn't have saved her for long. Because it was a neural disorder where very parts were becoming numb each day.
And it would have eventually killed her. But my sister was the right person should be at least happy while dying. The feeling of being loved was missing her life. Her support was Aai.
Whenever my sister used to call me she used to tell me about her deteriorating health. She used to crave to meet me and my sister. Because we used to take her to roam around, bring whatever food she likes to eat and also talk on random topics. But now everyone was praying when she would die. This type of death no one should get. Dying every minute is bad.

But I was helpless I couldn't do anything except to get all the things which she needed. I hate doctors because they couldn't identify her disease properly. Everyone just told its neural disorder but couldn't classify further. Do they consider the younger generation stupid or illiterate? We do know that neural disorder is a vague term. The neural disorder could be classified as ALS, post-polio syndrome..Mom used to do whatever she can. But that's not the proper care. Only parents can care about their children selflessly. If Aai was well she could have taken care of her properly.

I was excited to go to India after so much time. But now I am going on the wrong time. The house where we used to spend our holidays would be so different with no loved ones. I literally dumped all my things today in my baggage. Yesterday I just couldn't do anything. Today my flatmate's mom helped to pack some stuff so it became quicker. I hate waiting for flight doing nothing. In the hurry, I forgot to pack my books which I had borrowed from the library. Thank God I carried my laptop..so that I can add one new post! The good thing is they allowed my food, I thought they wouldn't allow my khichdi which had more water but glad they just did extra scanning and allowed. Flight food we couldn't trust. Last time I was lucky that I had carried food because veg food was over. And my friend who had eaten flight pasta,  puked after reaching home. Why don't these people provide panini or sandwich? Food which they provide - biscuit, chips are all tasteless. In pasta, they don't add sauces which could have at least made it edible by adding them. Cold uncooked pasta with raw veggies no sauce.

My flight was good, I had especially paid extra amount to book window seat so I was fresh enough to have morning walk even though I had reached home at 3 in the morning.  I was worried about the customs after reaching because I was carrying 4 phones and didn't want to pay extra bucks for customs. But they didn't check much so I was able to clear the queue. I was happy that everything went fine but they say na that u shouldn't pray earlier because next moment my one of the bag fell from the trolley as I was coming down from the sloppy way. Though I was inside the airport my sis and father told that they identified me easily due to this incident. I mean I am not so prone to accidents its the quality of my sis but bad day now she has got one point to make fun of. It was not end though I thought I lost my phone at airport washroom so spent again time searching.. At that time I was sure that my father would give me a whole lot of lecture but he didn't say much so was fine.  But problems didn't end there...My Indian sim got deactivated the day I reached and was I not able to retrieve it because it was from Reliance series. So now I have additional work of updating my new number everywhere. 

Preparation for upcoming Holidays

I just want these days to get over quickly so that I can fly back to my sweet home and sleep on my big comfy bed with a lot of pillows. I miss my family a lot especially my sister, though we talk daily for hours about bullshit stuff. I think my life has become boring need something interesting ..challenging for sure. To make my dull life boring I started with painting, bought colors, brushes, canvas, etc did something which is good to look but for artist u could easily find flaws. We had Rangoli competition in office, and our low power team participated and I was captain. I was sure of winning but we failed even if our Rangoli was better than others due to voting, my fate was bad! Now I have the urge to do embroidery on my denim jacket and jeans. A few weeks back I had craved to have a charm bracelet with a butterfly. I had some design in my mind and I wanted exact kind of butterfly on it. I did find the imagined one butterflies though but still hunting for the string. I think its one of the months where my creativity is on a high scale. Some other day I received an appreciation for my flyer from my colleagues and from my roommate for henna design. But I think my all-time favorite is cooking and walking. Devika is true I am very particular about food. I hate fat rotis, bhakris, rajma,etc. Before cooking I think about the taste of the dish and want the dish in that taste. My Gujarati friend's mom came for a month and she always insists to make Rotis but I always try to avoid it. How to tell her that I like soft small Phulkas and not some thick ones! These are my creative days..after a few days it would be a reading craze or just be workalcoholic or netflix series addict.

From past few days, I have seriously been into walking, exercising, and food conscious. Not because I want to lose weight but don't want to gain weight in India. My mom has already planned about dishes to make and even I can't stay away from my favorite Dal Pakwan, Pav bhaji, Pani Puni, Parathas, etc. So at least from past three days, I am walking about 2 - 4 miles, exercising for 7 mins and for food not definitely having diet food. But just changed a little bit of my food pattern. Included ginger lemon tea three times a day. Shifted my sweet such as cakes and brownies from night to morning breakfast. Added fruit to breakfast. Heavy lunch with rice for lunch. Dinner light & early. Not raw vegetables but tasty chole, moong, matki, palak potato, etc. I don't want to trade-off with the taste buds like my flatmate who survives on tasteless juices and salads.

How the weekend flies I don't even know! So much to shop. It takes time to hunt the thing which I want to carry to India. I just can't go and shop a lot and then done. What I loved in the US are cranberries, brownie mix, Japanese knife, flannel shirts, winter jackets, etc. For mom, I know she loves purses but I still couldn't find the best one in a good range. I still need to buy chocolates but concerned about the luggage allowance, I think I didn't get a good deal of flight. Next year would probably avoid Decembers instead would go on Diwali. And in Christmas holidays would go on the solo adventurous trip, which I had always dreamt of. Before that, I need to track my finances to save and plan an adventurous trip. I miss playing squash and badminton with Swara and Swapnil. I couldn't find here anyone who likes to play. People here like to play boring games like UNO and Plank which I found quite boring. Maybe I should shift near Umass so that I could find sporty people. After returning back from India I am definitely going to join either dance or Marshall arts training. Else I would be bored in winters.

Finally done with the shopping, I think I have shopped a lot for my father..my mom would be jealous for sure! But it's better to shop for father..its weird but if my father is happy then mom is happy..and if my parents are happy then we are happy! My mom would be most happy if I buy things for her side relatives even if we don't buy anything for her.

Today's day was really tiring. I had planned yesterday that I would go on a Bruce Man Free Trail. And I missed my bus by 3 min. So fast forward I had to catch uber because I can't compromise with my plans. I saw lots of Chinese people running and cycling. I can't imagine any Indian actually waking early on Saturday morning especially for the walk. After returning back home I was damn tired and thought to take some nap. But my bad my roommate and her mom had made the mess of the house as they were cleaning, packing their stuff. So the thought of taking nap flew out of the window. I also started my packing for an upcoming trip. I usually start packing max a day before but this was too early for me. My father asked to get two more things which are really difficult to select. One I need to confirm and second I would need my office friend's help. I am tired of shopping now.

Sunday was more tiring than Saturday. On Sunday, I had no major plans. Just want to complete assertion work. So that I would be more relaxed on Tuesdays! And also had to work on elasticsearch proposal. But nowadays nothing goes according to my plan. My friend asked me to join her for premium outlet shopping. So had to tag along with her, which was so tiring. That I almost slept at 8 in the evening and waking up in middle I m updating this post. From past week I am waking up in the middle of the night due to some nightmares. google says waking up early and going on walk helps to have sound sleep. But in my case, it works opposite I guess.  I found RetailMeNot app good for discount coupons my friend almost saved $30-$40.

Life in Massachusetts

Sometimes unexpected things happen. What I hate most is electronics I don't know but just hearing the terminology of electronics makes me sleepy. And guess what now I got the job in EDA company. After bachelors when I got placed in Symantec I was sure that I would work in security but had to work in storage. Now when I thought I had such a good experience in storage and cloud I would work in storage and most of the storage companies are on the west coast so I would be working there. But again its destiny I am working in EDA company. Though I had got a job in HP in San Jose with the high salary I still joined EDA company ..don't know why. Might be love for east coast or challenge to work in the different domain.

I love my job there is so much learn verilog, vhdl, UPF/CPF, parser, compiler design and much more. Most important the work culture. I just work from 10 am to 5 pm and sometimes work from home. Saturdays are shopping days because on Sundays there is no public transportation available.  Yeah and also Saturdays are reserved for the library visit. Earlier I thought I would need a car but now I don't think so because I am lazy to go to the gym so traveling itself helps to lose some weight.
When I talk to some of my friends, they always worry about wasting time. But I think traveling helps me to think ..kind of have a break from laptop :)  I found funny, one of my friends told that the dishwasher saves her 20 min of time. Seriously what innovation will happen in 20 min? I usually found good to wash vessels whenever used instead of piling them. And here I was thinking that I am the laziest but I think I am just lazy.  Another thing which I found stupid is diet food. Most folks these days survive on salads..now I thought they are seriously focused the on diet but no..I think they are just lazy to cook. Because on weekdays they eat diet food and on weekends order food from restaurants. So it nullifies there diet for sure! Maybe they even gain some extra pounds. Strange that most of the parents ask their daughters to eat diet food. I am lucky that mom despises the diet food, instead asks me to eat home cooked healthy food. So only I adore her, she is kind of role model to me. I want to be like my mom, best in everything. Some people want to focus on just one thing but it's not my cup of tea. I can't do the same thing or be best forever in one thing..I love to explore new things and challenging things I love the most. Though it seems to be impossible, the joy after completing that task is unexplainable.

This month I am die hard fan of Isabella Swan. I literally searched lots of departmental stores to find the exact dressing style like of twilight saga. And today I finally got the perfect outfit. I am in total love with flannel shirts! I even picked one for my sister..hope she likes one.

Today I would eat pizza ..from last two week I was craving to have pizza. I found pizza's name to be tempting than its taste. Pizza with book or pizza with prime series???
My roommate has sparkingly cleaned house and she would kill me if I make dirty. And I can't help myself to cook without making the little bit dirty kitchen. Poor me I love cooking so can't help messing kitchen with my new innovation. She doesn't cook a lot so of course, the kitchen would be clean when I don't cook.

Interviews &&

I had initially planned for September graduation but then in mid of March, I had to move my graduation day to May due to some personal reasons. Due to these changes, I was very very late to apply for jobs. Seniors say that they had started applying right from the year back and I had just 3 months in my hand. Most say you need the reference to get the call so I almost spend a day or two on linked in "to build contacts!". I didn't ask anyone for the reference though few were contacting me about the open positions. But I was not ready for interviews! SO I just replied that I would contact them later. Fast track I started applying..before that I started working on resume got it reviewed by CRC office who helped me to constrict it within 1 page. In spring break I almost spend a day for just applying to companies but calls were very few. So after reading requirements I almost everytime used to refine my resume.

I am agreeing with my sister we can't change ourselves! I tried to be sincere & all. But it doesn't suit me I would only succeed if I work hard at last moment. I ignored my ffs, wattpad who are my breath..my motivator. We need to study hard, work hard but also need to enjoy else we are never going to succeed because it fills my mind with the saddest thought and I would become like others ..depressed! Best decision was I didn't resign from my job they are my fresh breath in all curriculum and competition mess...

I know I will get job because I am worthy of it and have the skills just need to polish my skills after a break of a year. But want to keep track of interviews so thought to pen it down.

1. Fidessa: Online coding challenge which has same problems - flight scheduling and string operation

Though all the test cases were passed still got the reject. I think they check the time of execution

2. PayPal - Gave an interview a month back no update. Technical phone interview - Resume, Mostly focussed on docker, OS concepts - semaphore, mutex, context switching, docker - the difference between CMD and entrypoint

3. Intel - 2 calls for different roles, HR team told that they would pass the resume to hiring team which may take few weeks but no update.

4. Apple- The interview was scheduled for just half hour. So thought would be resume based, but it had technical questions - why ssds? whats the use? More on the part of my resume where I had worked on ssd.. Coding - Reverse double linked list (Did with one extra pointer). Was asked to modify to inplace traversal.

5. Google - Contacted through staffing google team was given 2 weeks to study for the phone interview. But I screwed it up. I practiced lot almost solved 80 question from leetcode in 2weeks that's only the positive point. The question was very simple - array based. Given the two lists return the two lists of the element removing the common. I was able to come up with the solution quickly but screwed up because I assumed the list to be sorted and missed the corner case of having duplicate elements. Though I was able to come up with the optimal solution....but consumed 45 min for just one question which was not worth.

6. HPE Nimble Storage: It was my first phone interview didn't think that I would have to write the code. Assumed that it was resume + technical questions based on the glassdoor. But last day I had google interview so was prepared but not so well but still, I had gone through few questions from leetcode which helped. Basically, the interview went for 1.15 hrs 15 mins extra :( For asking them question about predictive in storage! At exact 2 I got call from interviewer who asked me about important projects which went till 2.20. Then he mailed me codeedit link and gave simple question to find the intersection of two linked list. I knew I had solved this problem but was confused and got panic on the interview time..But anyway I was able to give the solution which was fastest one. Leetcode and google prep saved me...Hope I receive call for next round. I think I will because he told that the hiring manager will call me. But worried that the team is looking for filesystems role which I despise. I like storage but not filesystems!


7. IBM - From morning I was so pissed of because of my friend who didn't do her part of work and others had to do the work in the midnight. And I had picked one shift because I love Pistachios and more than anything I would miss it sure. So 10.30 to 2 work then at 5.30 I had interview for that I had planned to sleep early and study in morning. But due to Predictive project I didn't get time to study. So only I hate doing group projects because I don't like completing assignment or project last moment. I like to work quickly and efficiently I hate lot of group meetings and shitty work... Had skipped breakfast and lunch so was feeling so tired and drowsy due to lack of sleep. Today I had planned to go to buffet in my meal coupon but had to skip and survive on sandwich and on top of that I thought I lost my locket so had to again go back to home & come to library to revise the concepts. Had my venti hot chocolate to activate my brain cells which off course helped me and answer wisely (I think they were wise but don't know if interviewer thought it was)  I had interview with the hiring manager. He was friendly, firstly shared the details of the product - IAAS architecture. Then the expectations from the roles. They were looking for someone who could write plugins for container orchestration. Interview was different because it was purely behavioral and I had to think quickly of any damn example because I need to relate it to always the practical example.  Anyway for me my dream company is Cohesity.. that reminds me to contact Abhilash to know about interview procedure..


This Friday is important ..finally who will win me or sister. She says we need some closure hope I would get some closure. Hope my wish to click the pic in C3 gets fulfilled. I lost my friend due to my foolishness..I lost the trust..I shouldn't have shared with other..what to do I can't keep things with me & that I couldn't share earlier with my sister even..but anyway she is right hope I should have shared earlier....Tomorrow I am planning to have nightout in the library..it is in my one of the wishlist before I graduate..Tomorrow is full of so many  things --so many wishes..so much uncertainity..so much that I can't express in words. One of my another wish is to have this last friday as that friday where we talked for almost 6 hours. At the end of day hope I will get my friend back or just be in my good memories. 

Addn: I did spend my night in capen library.  But I was lucky enough because I got free food (pan cakes) and goodies plus games as it was friday night before exams so too much happening in student union. So till 12 in the night I visited lots of booth like t-shirt painting, gaming, etc then till 2 I studied in Capen. After 2 I was feeling sleepy then another task was to find the place to sleep in library. So found one place in Capen which was very messy with snacks spread around. Had to clean up the area to make a space to sleep. Had a really good sleep till 6 in the morning..Then at 7 pm catched the bus to Merrimac whroommatesoomates were still sleeping....


8. Amazon: 2 months back I had sent my resume to Sandy. Actually he only had asked if I was looking for any development roles and I just forwarded my resume. So two days back got msg from sandy about progress. And I told that I didn't got any response from them yet.Instantly I got the mail from Projesh for the info call. The role was about writing microservices  in aws env, java programming language is used. But still my dream company remains the same COHESITY! Hope Abhilash gives me some tips to crack cohesity interview... I have the gut feeling I would get thr like it was for UB where I wanted to be..

My friends are planning to go to club (grad eve) but I want to go to buffalo zoo next day and I have very less time so can't be both..So choice remains club or zoo? Fareen would kill me if I don't go to club but I think I would have nightout in capen library with leetcode :P.  Club is not my cup of tea, I don't smoke or drink and offcourse don't like to dance like drunken person. Back in goa I had gone once that too at closing time & I despised the environment and vouched never to be in club...What will happen in club people will dance and drink & I would be left out and possible I would have to carry my roommates.