On the day!

Yesterday it had been a bad day..It didn't hit me yet..but I knew that feeling will come along when I would reach home. She longed to see me. But it's my bad fate that I didn't get to see her. But I can't be selfish to prolong her pain. The reason of death I strongly feel to be blood poison due to bed sores. I think it had been stage 4 - bed sores. She needed proper medical care. But ya it wouldn't have saved her for long. Because it was a neural disorder where very parts were becoming numb each day.
And it would have eventually killed her. But my sister was the right person should be at least happy while dying. The feeling of being loved was missing her life. Her support was Aai.
Whenever my sister used to call me she used to tell me about her deteriorating health. She used to crave to meet me and my sister. Because we used to take her to roam around, bring whatever food she likes to eat and also talk on random topics. But now everyone was praying when she would die. This type of death no one should get. Dying every minute is bad.

But I was helpless I couldn't do anything except to get all the things which she needed. I hate doctors because they couldn't identify her disease properly. Everyone just told its neural disorder but couldn't classify further. Do they consider the younger generation stupid or illiterate? We do know that neural disorder is a vague term. The neural disorder could be classified as ALS, post-polio syndrome..Mom used to do whatever she can. But that's not the proper care. Only parents can care about their children selflessly. If Aai was well she could have taken care of her properly.

I was excited to go to India after so much time. But now I am going on the wrong time. The house where we used to spend our holidays would be so different with no loved ones. I literally dumped all my things today in my baggage. Yesterday I just couldn't do anything. Today my flatmate's mom helped to pack some stuff so it became quicker. I hate waiting for flight doing nothing. In the hurry, I forgot to pack my books which I had borrowed from the library. Thank God I carried my laptop..so that I can add one new post! The good thing is they allowed my food, I thought they wouldn't allow my khichdi which had more water but glad they just did extra scanning and allowed. Flight food we couldn't trust. Last time I was lucky that I had carried food because veg food was over. And my friend who had eaten flight pasta,  puked after reaching home. Why don't these people provide panini or sandwich? Food which they provide - biscuit, chips are all tasteless. In pasta, they don't add sauces which could have at least made it edible by adding them. Cold uncooked pasta with raw veggies no sauce.

My flight was good, I had especially paid extra amount to book window seat so I was fresh enough to have morning walk even though I had reached home at 3 in the morning.  I was worried about the customs after reaching because I was carrying 4 phones and didn't want to pay extra bucks for customs. But they didn't check much so I was able to clear the queue. I was happy that everything went fine but they say na that u shouldn't pray earlier because next moment my one of the bag fell from the trolley as I was coming down from the sloppy way. Though I was inside the airport my sis and father told that they identified me easily due to this incident. I mean I am not so prone to accidents its the quality of my sis but bad day now she has got one point to make fun of. It was not end though I thought I lost my phone at airport washroom so spent again time searching.. At that time I was sure that my father would give me a whole lot of lecture but he didn't say much so was fine.  But problems didn't end there...My Indian sim got deactivated the day I reached and was I not able to retrieve it because it was from Reliance series. So now I have additional work of updating my new number everywhere. 

Preparation for upcoming Holidays

I just want these days to get over quickly so that I can fly back to my sweet home and sleep on my big comfy bed with a lot of pillows. I miss my family a lot especially my sister, though we talk daily for hours about bullshit stuff. I think my life has become boring need something interesting ..challenging for sure. To make my dull life boring I started with painting, bought colors, brushes, canvas, etc did something which is good to look but for artist u could easily find flaws. We had Rangoli competition in office, and our low power team participated and I was captain. I was sure of winning but we failed even if our Rangoli was better than others due to voting, my fate was bad! Now I have the urge to do embroidery on my denim jacket and jeans. A few weeks back I had craved to have a charm bracelet with a butterfly. I had some design in my mind and I wanted exact kind of butterfly on it. I did find the imagined one butterflies though but still hunting for the string. I think its one of the months where my creativity is on a high scale. Some other day I received an appreciation for my flyer from my colleagues and from my roommate for henna design. But I think my all-time favorite is cooking and walking. Devika is true I am very particular about food. I hate fat rotis, bhakris, rajma,etc. Before cooking I think about the taste of the dish and want the dish in that taste. My Gujarati friend's mom came for a month and she always insists to make Rotis but I always try to avoid it. How to tell her that I like soft small Phulkas and not some thick ones! These are my creative days..after a few days it would be a reading craze or just be workalcoholic or netflix series addict.

From past few days, I have seriously been into walking, exercising, and food conscious. Not because I want to lose weight but don't want to gain weight in India. My mom has already planned about dishes to make and even I can't stay away from my favorite Dal Pakwan, Pav bhaji, Pani Puni, Parathas, etc. So at least from past three days, I am walking about 2 - 4 miles, exercising for 7 mins and for food not definitely having diet food. But just changed a little bit of my food pattern. Included ginger lemon tea three times a day. Shifted my sweet such as cakes and brownies from night to morning breakfast. Added fruit to breakfast. Heavy lunch with rice for lunch. Dinner light & early. Not raw vegetables but tasty chole, moong, matki, palak potato, etc. I don't want to trade-off with the taste buds like my flatmate who survives on tasteless juices and salads.

How the weekend flies I don't even know! So much to shop. It takes time to hunt the thing which I want to carry to India. I just can't go and shop a lot and then done. What I loved in the US are cranberries, brownie mix, Japanese knife, flannel shirts, winter jackets, etc. For mom, I know she loves purses but I still couldn't find the best one in a good range. I still need to buy chocolates but concerned about the luggage allowance, I think I didn't get a good deal of flight. Next year would probably avoid Decembers instead would go on Diwali. And in Christmas holidays would go on the solo adventurous trip, which I had always dreamt of. Before that, I need to track my finances to save and plan an adventurous trip. I miss playing squash and badminton with Swara and Swapnil. I couldn't find here anyone who likes to play. People here like to play boring games like UNO and Plank which I found quite boring. Maybe I should shift near Umass so that I could find sporty people. After returning back from India I am definitely going to join either dance or Marshall arts training. Else I would be bored in winters.

Finally done with the shopping, I think I have shopped a lot for my father..my mom would be jealous for sure! But it's better to shop for father..its weird but if my father is happy then mom is happy..and if my parents are happy then we are happy! My mom would be most happy if I buy things for her side relatives even if we don't buy anything for her.

Today's day was really tiring. I had planned yesterday that I would go on a Bruce Man Free Trail. And I missed my bus by 3 min. So fast forward I had to catch uber because I can't compromise with my plans. I saw lots of Chinese people running and cycling. I can't imagine any Indian actually waking early on Saturday morning especially for the walk. After returning back home I was damn tired and thought to take some nap. But my bad my roommate and her mom had made the mess of the house as they were cleaning, packing their stuff. So the thought of taking nap flew out of the window. I also started my packing for an upcoming trip. I usually start packing max a day before but this was too early for me. My father asked to get two more things which are really difficult to select. One I need to confirm and second I would need my office friend's help. I am tired of shopping now.

Sunday was more tiring than Saturday. On Sunday, I had no major plans. Just want to complete assertion work. So that I would be more relaxed on Tuesdays! And also had to work on elasticsearch proposal. But nowadays nothing goes according to my plan. My friend asked me to join her for premium outlet shopping. So had to tag along with her, which was so tiring. That I almost slept at 8 in the evening and waking up in middle I m updating this post. From past week I am waking up in the middle of the night due to some nightmares. google says waking up early and going on walk helps to have sound sleep. But in my case, it works opposite I guess.  I found RetailMeNot app good for discount coupons my friend almost saved $30-$40.