Anonymous email

Yesterday night I wrote an email especially an "Anonymous email" to RJ telling him that I like him.
Hope it should go into his spam mail but corner of my little heart secretly hopes that he should read it.

This is the mail which I wrote him:

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I think I like you. You might not even know me so don't stress out remembering it.

My friends say that its better to tell that person whom you really like than regretting

it so here I am letting you know. Just sending it anonymously because its not

going to work.

. . . . .

. . . . .

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The thing is I am talking to many people but I don't feel they are meant to be. For whom I feel I should say it na.

So here i am telling him what i feel about him. Might be it would never be read because i don't even know what's his mail id is. I just randomly dropped an email guessing to be his. 

I think I am taking an efforts to make relationship work but do I really like them? Them are the people whom I am actually talking to or kind of dating. No I don't like them. So I thought why not to take some efforts for the person who is worth and I really like for who he is! Few weeks back I had called him but didn't had guts to actually speak on phone. So what I couldn't say I wrote it. 

I have even deleted the number from my phone and the book, so I won't be tempted to call. Mail would be the last one. I believe that if we want something and if its meant to be then universe will fight against all odds and make it happen. Hope he would join dots and call me back on my office number which I had used to call him few days back or it was never meant to be. And I could move on and meet and talk to the new people with open mind than just regretting that I could have at least made some effort.

Tick list:
- Writing someone a letter telling about my feelings (Done)

I am happy though for telling my feeling to someone in actual to the person I actually liked!
This is one of the things which I haven't shared with my sissy definitely she is going to kill me
if I tell her. I did told her I wrote an letter or email but didn't tell it was RJ she feels he is not right one for me. I mean he is the right guy but marriage is the bonding of family as well as the person. And his family and my family won't ever be happy.

Life is all about moving ahead. We meet new peoples, create new memories. Might I did wish him to find purpose of life but did I know purpose of my life. Might be its the time to close the chapter of my life. And open new chapter of life looking forward!

P.S: If he ever callbacks on my office number then my stupid voice message would say my name :( So much of calling anonymously :( I can't reveal my name to him my bad my self respect would go in drain hai na !!! :( :( Else I was planning to write him a  second mail but now I have to let go of it and think practical...

I am planning to move to Cali but have too much on my plate. My sis seriously thinks that its the bad decision.
I had a dream of staying next to his house. I had almost had dreams of him for 4-5 times after writing an email :(. Offcourse I know his address hope it doesn't make me super creepy person I just found it by chance. But anyway the point is should I try or let it go?

But god should give atleast one signal that its ok to take risk ....